Monday, March 4, 2013

9 Life Gyans @29

These days, everyone seems to think that they’ve attained nirvana. The kind of people who spout “life truths” and the kind of gyan that is being lapped up by one and all led me to believe, that I too can spout my own version of life’s “hidden truths”! After a decade of disastrous decisions, surely I can do this, no? Since I’m turning 29 today, I thought of sharing 9 lessons learnt from my not-so-short life! So here goes nothing!

1) Never say never: Many of us, including yours truly, do this. When we witness someone doing something which we opine is outrageous, we are prompt to judge and say, “Oh I would never do ___!” But do we really know that for sure? What makes us so confident? Have we gone through the same situations and emotions that the person in question has? If we were in that same position, God only knows what we would do. Several times, I’ve been quick to say Never! Only to discover a little way down the road, that I spoke too soon. So, let’s not be quick to jump to conclusions – and then find that we have to eat our own words.

2) Love yourself first: I am not asking you to be selfish – but a little self-centeredness is really not a bad thing. Love yourself, treat yourself, pamper yourself, indulge yourself, celebrate yourself, improve yourself – because the most important person in your life is you. And if you don't love yourself first, you can not love anyone else truly.

3) The truth is you only have you to depend on in this life: Yes. Parents, teachers, spouse, friends, colleagues, pets, neighbours, strangers – everyone will come only so far in life. Beyond that, you have only yourself. But, you have you – and that is the most important relationship of all. Nurture it.

4) Get to know the guy/girl before marrying him/her: I don’t have anything against arranged marriages and of course know a lot of happy couples who’ve had arranged marriages. Nevertheless, if possible, try to have a “love” marriage. And I am not talking about the typical Bollywood type of love marriages – boy meets girl, Bam! Cupid strikes, they fight, they cuddle, they sing and dance, they beat up some villains, they get married and live happily ever after. No sir. Spend time with each other, do things together, discover each other’s positives and negatives, learn about each other’s likes and dislikes, grow together, share your thoughts and interests, talk, laugh and cry together, become friends, go on dates, travel together, volunteer together, watch movies, listen to music, read and discuss, fight and makeup, be there for each other, give it time, atleast a couple of years – and then, if you think that you want a lifetime more of the same, then get married. Of course, I agree that it is not possible to know everything about a person but atleast you’ve laid the foundation for a solid relationship, that is meant to last through thick and thin.

5) If it doesn’t work out, it’s ok: Sometimes – well, who am I kidding – most times, life doesn’t go according to our plans. At the risk of sounding cliched, there are no guarantees in life. People disappoint us and we end up being hurt and angry. Let it be. Cry your eyes out, mourn for a while, be glum and dejected and mope around eating tubs of ice-cream. But, move on, after a while. If it is meant to be, it will be; else simply let go. Don’t waste your time, energy and emotions on would-haves and could-have-beens, but don’t regret the experience either. The fact is, every person we meet in our life, teaches us something – about ourselves, about life. Learn from it. Smile and get on with your life. Don’t let bitterness pull you down and make you cynical; open yourself to new experiences.

6) Travel: I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Travel truly broadens your horizons and gives you a new perspective. Travel as much as you can, and see yourself in a new light.

7) Live by yourself: atleast for a couple of years. Fend for yourself, do chores, run errands, pay the bills, wash your clothes, cook your meals, clean your bathroom – learn to be self-sufficient. It doesn’t matter if it was your dad who was doing all this earlier; it doesn’t matter if someone else will do it for you later. Atleast, you will know that you can do all that – and much more – if the need arises.

8) Earn: I believe that every woman should have worked for atleast a short while. Relocation, marriage, kids or other such responsibilities or even lack of interest might not allow you to continue to work. But atleast for a short while, go to work – meet new people and keep learning. Save some money – just for yourself.

9) Have a hobby: So many people complain that they feel bored when they are by themselves. But practically speaking, no one is going to be with you 24/7. That is why it is essential to keep up a hobby – anything which interests you. Don’t give it up – it will sustain and refresh you.


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