Classified Info ;-)

Haaa Sundays! Sundays were always lazy days for me back home. Everyone used to get out of bed a little later than usual and are relaxed without the hustle and bustle of the weekdays. Since both my parents were working, the weekdays usually go in a blur and even Saturdays are busy days with some chores to do and errands to run.

So come Sunday, the house seemed lively with people, noises of Sunday programs like Aratai Arangam, Top 10 Movies, Swaptha Swarangal drifted in from the neighbours’ TVs , the vegetable vendors and fish vendors would come calling at the gate with their loud, hoarse voices and by noon the pressure cooker whistles, signaling that amma has made some tasty dishes for lunch and the whole house was filled with a mouth-watering aroma. I used to hover around the kitchen, waiting for amma to offer me a bite of this or that on the pretext of checking the salt ;-) Afternoons were filled by a siesta and evenings were spent at Church. Once night fell, there would be groans of “Oh tomorrow schooooll!” or “Office tomorrow!”

But after moving here, the whole spirit and tradition of Sundays has been sadly lost-because Sunday is a working day here :-( Boohoo! Also since I have to do the cooking, it is not as satisfying as eating amma’s food… My parents are planning to visit us next month and I am eagerly waiting for them! Am sure we will have a great time! Yeah!

Anyway coming to the point, I didn’t mean to write this post as an ode to Sundays. Actually with the Sunday edition of The Hindu newspaper, come a load of supplements, one of which is the classifieds paper.(Yeah and you thought I was going to share some secret with you ;-)) And of particular interest to me was the Matrimonial section. I always used to read it on the sly lest my parents thought that I was searching for a groom for myself. Nay that was definitely not my intention. Rather I always found the matrimonial ads interesting. Some were weird, some were snobbish, some were silly and some were outright funny! One common thread that was present in almost every ‘Bride Wanted’ ad was “Wanted slim, fair girl”! So what about chubby, dark-skinned girls??! India and its fair-skin-favouritism! I suspect that I became biased myself after reading countless such ads-no, not towards fairness but away from it! In fact, after my grandma met my husband for the first time, her first comment to me was “Payan konjam colour kammi…”, meaning “The boy is a little on the darker side…” Okay….So?!?!? Didn’t you notice anything else worthwhile for God’s sake!?!? If only you had opened your eyes, you could have seen that he is also tall and slim and healthy and that he has a great set of teeth and a charming smile!

So yesterday, I was flipping through some magazine when I landed on… you guessed it! classifieds again. Reading the ads there I honestly did not know whether to laugh or cry. Here are a few gems. I am typing them exactly as printed, with my comments in italics:

Wanted Bride:

Hello Girls! Are you searching for honest, sincere and trustworthy smart guy? (Well who isn’t? BTW one of your strengths is definitely not written english!) I am loving, caring and highly romantic guy 32 years searching for good-looking, slim and sincere girl for long-lasting relationship. My hobbies are music, watching movies, dancing, long drives, going to sea beaches (Um..Really would like to know if these”sea” beaches are different from “ocean” beaches?!) and hill stations. Girls willing for committed relationship reply with their details and photograph at: urluversa***@********

Okay firstly the email id sucks big time! And do you also like to do the laundry, wash the dishes, take the girl for shopping, cook, lend a listening ear to all that the girl talks even if they might at times be frivolous?! Because all the activities that you have listed seems to be for a “fun” relationship not a “sincere and committed “one!

Handsome teetotaller businessman desires an extremely beautiful, fair, slim, honest, affectionate, passionate, committed, elite, sophisticated and fashionable female, not interested in issues. (Whew! This person is living in la-la land!)

Handsome, tall young boy travelling worldwide like Kerala and western culture (!), romantic, sincere, caring seeks pretty girls for lifelong relationship or acting on movie/modeling (What is this? Orae kallula rendu maanga?!? Make up your mind dude! )

And this one from Situations Vacant:

Lonely businessman seeks unencumbered, clever lady assistant. Who can also assist in business. (“ A clever, unencumbered lady assistant for a lonely man who can also assist in business?!” So exactly what job is this ad for?!?)

Having said this I know that there are also many sincere advertisements placed in the classifieds. It is upto us to sift and sieve and separate the riff raff from the genuine ones. I really wonder, did any of these jerks above get what they advertised for?!?

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