Creating Happiness Through Travel

If you could take your family or friends to any place on the planet, where would that be and how would you make your trip the happiest one ever?

This post is my entry to Indiblogger’s contest Creating Happy Travellers, in association with Yatra.com.

The year was 2007 and it was my birthday. It was a cold, rainy day and I was standing inside Old Trafford, England. I had absolutely no clue about Manchester United and only the most rudimentary knowledge about football itself. Yet, there I was, in the dressing room of one of the most famous football stadiums in the world, thinking, “So this is where Beckham sits,” as he was the only English football player I knew and that too only because of the movie Bend It Like Beckham. I even picked up an outrageously overpriced souvenir in the gift shop and eventually gave it away to a friend because it was not something which held a lot of importance to me.

Me @ Old Trafford, Manchester

Fast forward to 2009. Lo and behold! I found myself married to a die-hard Manchester United fan. The sound of live sports commentary and a cheering crowd became a constant background noise in our house. I sat glass eyed through endless football matches as the husband whooped or cursed aloud depending on how the “red devils” were performing. I got caught in the middle of vociferous arguments about who is going to win, who actually won and who really deserved to win.

I did not miss the irony. Here I was - someone who didn’t care two hoots about football and much less about Man U – and I had gone on a tour of their turf, which hardly meant anything to me to be frank, and here was my husband, to whom the same experience would have been a dream come true. Honestly, if it was possible, I would gladly go back in time and trade places with him, because I know that it would be one of the happiest moments in his life.

In the dressing room @Old Trafford

However, as far as I know, time travel has not yet come of age. But what has come of age are online travel planning websites which make life so much simple and quick! No more running behind travel agents and breaking our heads over our travel plans. 

Having said that, one also needs to ensure that the online travel company that we deal with is trustworthy and reliable. With a number of such ecommerce websites popping up, it is easy to get swindled. One is then left chasing the company and thus begins a never ending saga of calls to their so-called customer service. In the end, what is supposed to become a dream holiday ends up becoming a nightmare instead. This is why it is vital that we do our research and groundwork before zeroing in on any deals. Sometimes, a deal might look really attractive, but remember, if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is.

A close friend recently got married and he spent a lot of time comparing different travel planning websites, to pick a honeymoon package. Finally he decided to go with Yatra.com because he was really impressed with their offers and service. He and his fiancé settled on a lovely honeymoon trip to Mauritius where they had a great time, thanks to Yatra.Com. Everything, including the flights, hotel stay and sightseeing excursions went smoothly and according to plan. They were quite pleased with Yatra.com and strongly recommended them to us as well. I decided to check them out for myself and I could immediately see why my friend was all praises for Yatra.com. Yatra.com offers a variety of travel packages to a number of interesting destinations across the world. The website is user friendly and easy to navigate. Whether you are looking for a honeymoon package or a family holiday or something adventurous, rest assured that Yatra.com will have the right options for you! You can plan and book your holiday at the click of your mouse. Easy-peasy!

Old Trafford Museum

In our case, my husband’s sister is living in Manchester. Plus, since I was working in England a few years back, I also have a bunch of friends who would be glad to put us up for a few days. So we don’t really need to worry about booking hotels. And with the current state of the rupee, not having to spend on accommodation is a great plus indeed! I would take care of the visa formalities and go to yatra.com to book flight tickets to Manchester. Then I would book a personalised tour of the stadium for my husband so that he can take his time to savour the experience. 

Inside the Man U stadium

The English Premiere League has just started. So I would make sure to get front row tickets to a Man U match and give my husband the opportunity to watch his football heroes in action right in front of him. As the crowd erupts into a deafening roar, complete with stomping feet and waving flags, I will sit back and bask in the glory of knowing that I was responsible for creating one of the most memorable moments in his life that he will never forget – even if he gets Alzheimer’s (God forbid!) This will be an experience that he will cherish forever!

My Weekend Gourmet Party - With Kitchens Of India

UPDATE: This post won second place! Yay! 

This post is my entry to Indiblogger's contest in association with Kitchens Of India.

If you were to host a party for your friends or family, what would the theme of that party be?

I love experimenting in my kitchen and trying my hand at various dishes. But at the same time, in today’s busy world when one is juggling a hundred things to do, one doesn’t really have the time or energy to plan and whip up elaborate meals. The idea of slaving away in a hot kitchen and stressing over a grand meal is simply not appealing to me. But does that mean that we always have to order food from restaurants or just completely skip entertaining family and friends? Of course not! Having family or friends over for a pleasant meal can be an enjoyable experience – with a little help from the experts.

There are several brands of ready-to-eat and ready-to-cook delicacies available in the market today. I have tried several of them but I must say that the range of products from Kitchens Of India are a step above the rest in terms of freshness, flavour as well as choices. Their authentic Indian fare comes to my rescue quite often – be it for a quick and tasty dinner on a busy weekday night or for mouth-watering fare at parties and get- togethers.

My Weekend Gourmet Party - Theme:

With our wedding anniversary coming up in a few months, I started thinking about throwing a memorable party for my dear ones. The theme that I would like to choose is retro-Bollywood. So all the guests need to be dressed up in vintage 80s style. Just to paint a better picture, imagine the male guests with bell bottom trousers and puffy hair while the female guests could really indulge in their fantasies of imitating the yesteryear queens of the silver screen! How about some short, form-fitting kurtis with chudidhars and the dupatta tied cross-wise to the side, paired with huge sunglasses? Or colourful saris in flowing chiffon with short pallus and hair done up in a big bun? Throw on some bright lipstick, winged eyeliner and a diva attitude – and you’re all set to have some fun! Let’s get the polka dots and loud colours back ladies!

Take a hint from Bollywood!
Pic source: santabanta.com

My Weekend Gourmet Party - Venue:

I prefer having my parties at my home sweet home. I feel it gives me more freedom to experiment as well as more control over the arrangements. To set the ambience I would do up living room with some cool posters of old Hindi movies in strategic locations. Antique brass urlis filled with water and pretty rose petals, fragrant jasmine and floating candles would add a warm glow to the entire room.

Photo credit: Niyam Bhushan
 (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License)

All of us have a few old silk saris sitting deep inside our wardrobes. We don’t really want to wear them any more nor do we have the heart to give away such precious pieces. Why not repurpose them? A party with an Indian theme like what I am planning now would be the perfect opportunity to do so! One can use them as attractive curtains - just drape them over the windows and when the zari catches the light from the candles and shimmers it will truly be magical! Or we could also convert them into eye-catching cushion covers instead. A couple of couches with comfortable bolsters to lean on plus some nice chairs should complete the look.

Of course, what is a party without some good music? In the background, there would be classic Bollywood hits of the 80s playing along softly to indulge all of us in ecstatic nostalgia. The lilting melodies of R.D. Burman and Kishore Da will transport us back to a time when life was simple yet enjoyable.

Sari cushion covers from Indian Selections

Sari curtains from Indian Selections

My Weekend Gourmet Party - It's Chow Time!

And that brings us to the most important part of any party! I don’t know about you, but for me that part is definitely the food! While I want my guests to have a good time and enjoy themselves I also want to join in the fun – afterall it is my party, isn’t it!? Trust me, if I have spent the whole day sweating it out in the kitchen, by the time the party rolls around and my guests arrive I am going to be tired and washed out – not what one wishes an ideal hostess to be! Therefore I am going to make my life a little easier and reach out for Kitchens Of India.

Photo courtesy: niseag03
 (Used under the
Creative Commons Attribution License)

Drinks: To start off, I intend to greet my guests with a bright smile and a chilled glass of strawberry mojito.

A mojito is a classic Mexican drink made with lemon/lime juice, fresh mint and rum. It goes really well with Indian food and I would like to give my own spin to this refreshing drink.

To make this delightful drink, add a few teaspoons of Kitchens Of India’s Strawberry & Mint Conserve with a handful of ice cubes and some freshly squeezed lemon juice into a food processor. Blend till the conserve is well distributed and the ice cubes are crushed. Pour this mixture into glasses, top it off with some white rum, club soda and ice cubes. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint and place a fresh cut strawberry or a wedge of lemon on the rim of the glass. Ta da! For a non-alcoholic version, simply skip the rum and add more soda or some lemonade. Cheers!

Appetizers: Everyone likes to munch on something as they savour their drinks and chit-chat. This is where, appetizers come into the picture. I think I will place brass platters of masala pappad on centrally located and easily accessible tables.

Small triangles of crispy roasted pappads topped with a zingy mixture of diced onions, cucumbers, tomatoes, green chillies and coriander with a pinch of salt, pepper and chat masala – yum! (Note to self: remember to deseed the tomatoes and cucumbers – there is nothing worse than mushy papad! 

Condiments: As an accompaniment to the masala pappads, I shall warm up some of Kitchens Of India’s Mango Jeera Chutney as well as Tamarind & amp;Date Chutney and place them in brass bowls. The tangy chutneys will go quite well with the crunchy masala pappads. Of course, I shall also stack individual plates and napkins near the platters and bowls, no one wants double dippers!

Main Course: Moving on, the star attraction of the party (apart from me, of course :P) would be the aromatic biryani. I am going to stick with the vegetarian version this time and with Kitchens Of India’s Vegetable Biryani Mix I cannot go wrong! All I need to do is add basmati rice and fresh vegetables to conjure up a delectable vegetable biryani. 

Side-dishes: For the non-vegetarians I choose Kitchens Of India’s spicy Mutton Kolhapuri masala mix and the flavourful Murgh Methi. As for the vegetarians I think I shall go with creamy Mughlai Paneer and the fiery Mirch Ka Salan. Bonus? I don’t even have to cook the Mughlai Paneer, Mirch Ka Salan and the Murgh Methi –they come in hygienically sealed packs that are ready to heat and eat! Not to forget, the comforting staple – a raitha to cool down all the flaming taste buds around the room!

Dessert: To round off such a wonderful meal, I will serve some vanilla ice-cream topped with a vibrant syrup of mango and saffron. The syrup can be made by melting some of Kitchens Of India’s Mango & Saffron Conserve with a few teaspoons of water on medium heat in a saucepan for a few minutes. 

The Kitchens Of India’s Mango & Saffron Conserve is made with juicy Alphonso mangoes and sweet-smelling Kashmiri saffron for an exotic twist. Once the conserve loosens up to a pouring consistency, just spoon it generously over boring, plain old, vanilla ice cream and kick it up a notch! The contrast between the cold ice-cream and the warm and tingly syrup – Ah! A match made it heaven indeed!

A Memorable Return Gift For The Guests: Once everyone’s appetites are satiated I shall present them with a thoughtful return gift to takeaway from my party. The Kitchens Of India’s gift packs are ideal for this. Each pack contains Jodhpuri Moong Dal Halwa and Awadhi Badam Halwa. Perfect to indulge your sweet tooth! Afterall there is nothing wrong in spreading the joy and sharing the pleasures of Kitchens Of India with my friends and family right!?

I am sure that my weekend gourmet party will be a treat to all the senses! I bet my party is going to be a super-duper hit and that my guests won’t forget it for a long time – thanks to Kitchens Of India! Now I'm off to draw up my guest list! 

We Cannot Afford To Ignore Those Warning Signs Anymore

This is my second entry to Indiblogger's "The Moral Of The Story Is...." contest in association with Colgate. Check out My Healthy Speak Blog.

My first entry can be read here.

5 year old Raju wakes up with a start. For a second he wonders what woke him up. Then he sees his father – his thin figure swaying back and forth. He takes a menacing step forward and aims a kick at his cowering mother, completely missing her in his drunken stupor. Enraged further, he grabs the little alarm clock on the bedside table and throws it at his wife. The clock strikes her on the forehead before hitting the floor and smashing into a hundred pieces. Satisfied, he collapses on the bed and almost immediately starts snoring.

Little Raju had been huddling under his thin blanket with his heart beating furiously. Now, he slowly creeps up to his mother and buries his face in her lap. His mother strokes his hair and whispers to him, “It is okay Raju. He is drunk. He is not in his senses. All men are like this – remember how Mani maama created a ruckus yesterday? It is my fault, I should not have asked him why he came so late. Don’t worry, everything will be fine in the morning.” Raju nods silently and gradually falls into a dreamless sleep in his mother's arms.

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10 year old Raju shouts frantically at Lakshmi who is sweeping the floor, “Why are you not wearing your uniform? Hurry up! It is getting late!”

“Your sister won’t be coming to school anymore Raju. You get going,” says his mother.

“Why not?!” asks Raju perplexed.

“Well there is a lot of work to be done at home. I can’t manage everything all by myself can I? Besides what is the use of her going to school? Anyway she’ll get married in a few years; she’d better learn how to run a household properly.”

“But… but…” stammers Raju.

“You’re going to be late. Run along now!” says his mother, gently shoving him out of the house.

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12 year old Raju is walking back home from the market. He hears someone shout, “Hey Raju! Come and see what we’ve got here!” He turns and sees that three of his classmates are kneeling in the dusty alley looking at something. Curious, he goes over to find out what is happening. “Oh my God! What are you doing?!” he shouts in horror.

The boys have tied the legs of a puppy with a rope and are poking and prodding it with a sharp stick. The poor animal looks terrified and is obviously in pain. The sight moves Raju to tears. Noticing this Mahesh laughs, “Haha! Look at this cry baby! He is going to cry!” Kanna chimes in, “Are you going to cry? Are you a girl? Go home and wear your sister’s skirt!” Raju runs away with jeers of “You’re a girl!” “Cry baby!” ringing in his ears.

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16 year old Raju is lounging in the tea stall. As he is about to take a sip of the steaming hot masala chai, he hears his friend Kumar shout, “Super figure! What is your phone number darling?”

The girl in the yellow chudidhar, across the street, stops in her tracks and gives him a hard stare. Raju and his friends break out into sniggers while Kumar starts whistling. Disgusted, the girl turns and walks away. Kumar too joins in the laughter. He hitches up his shirt collar and says, “These girls think too much of themselves nowadays. How dare she give me that look? Everyone knows that she is a slut. I saw her come home late last night – that too in a miniskirt. She deserves a bottle of acid on that pretty face – that’ll teach her who is the boss."

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18 year old Raju is dancing in the movie hall. On screen, the heroine is gyrating and moving her hips enticingly in the latest item song. It is a peppy number with suggestive lyrics that has become a chart busting hit almost as soon as it was released. Raju and his friends can not stop clapping and jumping around to the beats. “She is so hot!” Raju thinks as the heroine gives him a sly wink and bites her lip, seductively.

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20 year old Raju is cruising in his auto looking for a fare. It is quite late. Just as he is wondering if he should give up and head home, he sees her. She is standing in front of that big, shiny building and looking up and down the road. She notices him and waves her hand to signal him to stop. She gets in. “K.R. Nagar,” she says and settles back into her seat. Raju turns the meter on and starts driving.

Thoughts are racing in Raju's mind. “What is she doing here so late? Surely, upto no good. Otherwise why would she be wearing such figure hugging clothes? I’m sure she is one of those snooty bitches who needs to be taught a good lesson.”

He looks around carefully. There is hardly anyone to be seen. He steals a glance at her in the rear-view mirror. She has plugged in her ear phones and is listening to some music with her eyes closed. A side road is coming up ahead. Raju turnes into it.

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In December 2012 the entire nation was shocked to hear about the brutal gang rape in Delhi. We all shuddered to think about the plight of the young woman and we all wondered how men could be so cruel. Want to know how? You have your answer above. While this is a much simplified version, it is by ignoring such warning signs that we, the society as a whole, create such monsters.

Raju’s mother must have told him that his father was a hooligan. She should not have justified his actions, thereby validating that it is okay if men use their physical strength to intimidate women. Instead of standing up for him and accepting that this is how men behave, she should have taught Raju that hitting a woman is wrong. She failed to see that the domestic violence that Raju grew up with as a child was a warning sign that told him that hurting a woman is acceptable.

Raju’s sister should have gone to school with him and studied just like him. Denying her an education and confining her to the hearth just because she is a girl, is a warning sign that implies to Raju that a women’s place is in the kitchen and that she should be limited to the house.

When Raju found himself feeling sorry for the helpless puppy and sympathising with it, he ended up being made fun of by his peers. In our world today, boys are not allowed to express their true emotions because it is considered too “feminine” to be sensitive. The message that is ingrained in us is that men are supposed to be steely and strong – if not, they are not man enough. Such gender stereotypes are a warning sign to us – it places unnecessary pressure on boys to conform to the restrictive idea of masculinity and equates masculinity with power. But we continue to ignore them.

There can be no Indian woman who hasn’t experienced street sexual harassment – or “eve-teasing” as it is lightly referred to. Yet, hardly anyone does anything to stop it from happening. Public spaces belong to us too and we have equal rights to be wherever we choose to be, with whomever we want to be with, wearing whatever we want to wear. But sadly, this is far from reality. A woman on the street is an easy target – to catcall, to bump into, to brush against, to grope, to pinch, to whistle, to ogle at, to threaten… and the list goes on. This deep-rooted social evil is again a warning sign – of how deep the rot runs. What do men gain from it? Power. The power to intimidate a woman, the power to keep her in her place.

Movies – the most popular form of entertainment for our masses. Movies are a huge industry in India and this industry regularly churns out “fun” in the form of racy numbers with obscene lyrics which serve no other purpose than commercial, cosmetic ones. Most of the songs - and often the entire movie itself - are focused on objectifying women, reducing them to a sum total of their body parts. These movies give out such loud warning signs as they shape the public psyche; the guy who hounds the girl incessantly will eventually make her fall for him, if a girl says no – oh she doesn’t mean it! Keep trying and she’ll say yes! But we don’t see these signs. We continue thronging to cinema halls and applaud the mindless trash that is churned out religiously, we make our daughters dance to risqué songs and show off to our friends, we take pride in our sons mouthing lewd songs and dream of them winning in reality shows.

The moral of this story is that it is high time we noticed these warning signs in our society. Remember, a man doesn’t turn into a monster overnight. It takes years and years of social conditioning – subtle messages that permeate his consciousness – until right and wrong becomes too muddled up and the day comes when he thinks being a monster is alright. Being a monster is fun. Being a monster is the right thing to do because it makes him feel like a "man" - not even realizing that there is a difference between being a man and a monster.

Spot the warning signs. Do not ignore them. Do your bit to prevent such monsters being created so that India – and indeed the world – will never have to bear witness to another Nirbhaya.

Don't Ignore Those Warning Signs

This is my first entry to Indiblogger's "The Moral Of The Story Is...." contest in association with Colgate. Check out My Healthy Speak Blog.

It was past midnight. All the everyday noises of domesticity had died down some time back. First the pressure cooker whistles that announced that supper was ready had fallen silent, then the clanging of pots and pans as housewives washed up the dirty vessels of the night had quietened, the soap opera on the neighbours’ TV had finally shut up; then the voices of men, women and children discussing the mundane details of their day had ceased as people gradually surrendered themselves to the night. I could hear a street dog howling in the distance and the lone tak, tak of the night watchman’s stick as he went on his rounds, as the 10 year old me sat chewing on her pencil – like I had been doing for the past hour.

“If Mala had 25 apples and Raghu gave her 10 more….” The words were starting to swim before my eyes. Arrghh! Why did maths have to so difficult!? Tomorrow was my maths exam and I had hardly finished studying half the syllabus. I still had to work my way through algebra and geometry and graphs and what not! My dad was looking at me, waiting for me to figure out the solution, but after a 10 hour work day, I could tell that his patience was wearing thin.

I was not a bad student but this was a common scenario at home before each of my maths exams. First, my mom would try to teach me. After I had used up all the reserves of her strength, my brother would chip in. After I had irritated him too, my dad would try his best. And after a sleepless night, I would walk into the exam hall dreading every minute of it. Once I had finished the exam I would feel elated – Done. No more maths till school reopens. Yay! And then of course, when the results are announced I would wait with my heart in my throat and eye the top scorers with envy.

My best friend Aruna, who was also my neighbour, was a maths wizard. Maths exams were a piece of cake for her. While I would be breaking my head, she would have finished prepping and would be happily lounging around in front of the idiot box – and the next day she would be all bright eyed and bushy tailed, while I looked like something the cat dragged in.

Maths was the only subject which I tried so hard – and yet didn’t do too well. The funny part is my dad, my mom AND my bro are bankers! But no matter how much hard work I put in I could never get my head around maths.

My feelings were exactly the opposite for my English exams. I always looked forward to getting my hands on my English books during my vacations and I would read all the books before school started. I waited eagerly for the English period and was thrilled when the exams came around. I loved writing long essays and was ecstatic when my papers came in with “Very Good!” or ”Great Job!” scrawled on it with red ink. When my English teacher praised me in front of the entire class, I had a wide grin plastered on my face the whole day.

I guess those were the earliest warning signs; but as it so often happens in life, I failed to notice them.

Warning bells are ringing!

Eventually it was time for me to choose my stream of study in the 11^th standard. Well, what was there to think about? Everyone knew that the Maths & Science group was the best. There was huge competition for it and Engineers and Doctors obviously had the brightest future. Did I pause to think if this is what I was interested in? Yes I did. And a little warning bell went off in a corner of my mind – Are you sure? It asked. But I pushed it out. Afterall, if all the bright minds were taking up maths and science then it must be the right thing to do, no?

And so life went by. Only, it got much worse. I could hardly pay any attention in class. Maths and Physics and Chemistry did not excite me – they simply bored me out of my mind. I found myself day dreaming with the page of formulas staring at me. I went for tuitions and my mind wandered away. Science group students face so much pressure that the weekly Sports period and - horror of horrors!- English period was almost always taken over by either the Maths or Science teachers. But I had to get high marks. My friends were all doing well and my brother too. They were constant comparisons and statements like “Look at him! Why can’t you study like him?” So I tried, somewhat half-heartedly.

But here and there were a few rays of sunshine. My poems got published frequently in our school’s magazine. Every time it happened, I pinched myself to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming.

Anyway, even if you aren’t Sir C.V Raman, hard work pays off to an extent and I managed to get a decent score in my exams. I appeared for various professional courses entrance exams too – but all with a niggling thought in my mind. Do I really want to become an engineer or a doctor? Is that what I really want to do? What about everything that you hear about following your heart? What about chasing your dreams?

BA English Literature beckoned me. I secured admission in a leading Arts college. I was among the top performers in the class and a bunch of us were chosen to attend a specialized course in English. I was thrilled. When many of the other girls bunked classes and sat around the cafeteria chit-chatting I was happy to be in class – listening to my lecturers talk about the classics. I savoured every moment of it.

But nobody could understand it. This is India. When thousands of people are vying for an Engineering seat why would anyone throw it away for an English Lit one? Whoever heard of such nonsense? Only dumb people who couldn’t get admission into any other branch took up Literature. It was an absolute waste of time. It won’t take you anywhere in life.

Or so my critics said. My instincts warned me “No, they are wrong! Stick to your decision!” But I ignored it – yet again – and spent four mind-numbing years, earning my degree in B.Tech IT. The first year I was also elected as the English Representative of my class but I was so relieved when the last day of college rolled by.

No more Java, no more C++, no more Data Structures & Algorithms, no more Digital System Design, no more Digital Signal Processing, no more maths, no more numbers, no more calculations…. But wait! I had a job in an IT company. Great! Air-conditioned offices, a big fat pay cheque at the end of the month, overseas travel and the pride that comes with introducing myself as a “software engineer.”

But you know that inner voice that sometimes just refuses to leave you alone no matter how much you threaten to punch it? Well that voice kept popping up now and again – warning me. “This is not what you are meant to be doing,” it kept insisting as I tried to design a flowchart. “What are you doing here? Why are you still here?”, it kept questioning as I took the late night cab home. “Why are you chasing a mirage when your destiny lies somewhere else?” it repeated when I was stifling a yawn sitting in a client meeting.

And just as that tiny little cavity which you neglected to get filled gets bigger and bigger until the entire tooth is eroded forcing you to fix that long pending appointment with the dentist, one day the voice grew too loud to ignore. I resigned.

The moral of the story is...

Have you ever had a bad tooth that was troubling you for a long time? And finally when the dentist fixes it, you tentatively test it out. You run your tongue over it gingerly and take a careful bite. Voila! No pain! Everything is perfect! A wave of relief washes over you. You sit back and enjoy the ice cream.

So, what is the moral of this looonnggg story? If you know what you want in life and if you know that you can be good at it - then don't ignore those warning signs. Believe in yourself and go for it. I traded in my settlement money and did a Journalism course. Today I work with a women’s magazine and I love it! I might not make as much money as in my previous job but this work motivates me and gives me complete job satisfaction. And it urges me to dream new dreams – maybe write a blog post and enter a contest like this one… maybe write a book, someday? Who knows, if only I had not ignored my warning signs maybe I would have written one already!