Heartbeat

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In the silence of the night,

I rest near you,

Hearing the soft “thud-thud” of your heart.

For a moment, I think “what if?”

And panic.

I offer a silent prayer,

That it will never have to be otherwise.

I Believed

When I was 5, I believed everything.
People said I was just innocent.

When I was 10, I believed my parents,
People said I was just young.

When I was 15, I believed my friends,
People said I was just inexperienced.

When I was 20, I believed in Love,
People said I was just naive.

Now I just believe in myself,
And I no longer care, what people say.
                               - Anne John

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To Have And To Hold

Unsure, hesitant and apprehensive,
I stepped into the crowd.
A sea of humanity,
Chattering, noisy and quite loud.

Standing by myself, I observed,
The circus and drama all around.
A tap on my shoulder made me turn,
A smiling face it seems I had found.

Years have gone by since that first day,
And yet it feels so fresh and new.
When someone speaks of a 'forever friend'
You see, I always think of you.

Laughter and tears,
We’ve seen it all.
You’ve been there when I rejoiced,
I know, you’ll be there when I fall.

When Life pulls me down,
Everything seems simply impossible.
But then I think of our friendship,
And suddenly, even hope seems plausible.

People may come,
And people may go.
But you my dear friend, are here to stay,
Without a doubt, forever more.

- Anne John

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Wednesday Wishlist #4: Where The mind Is Without Fear

The flavour of the month of August seems to be Freedom. Independence Day has just gone by. Against a backdrop of scams and corruption, an old man is igniting the spirit of patriotism among all Indians with his sheer courage and determination, not to mention debates and protests. In this scenario, a poem has been floating around in my mind. Everyone who studied in Indian schools must have come across this poem – and probably learnt it by-heart to write it out word-perfect in the exams or recite it on stage vociferously. Today, Tagore’s words seem as apt as they must have been all those years ago when he initially penned it. There are loads of things to complain about India. And yet reading these lines, brings forth a strange mix of longing, love and hope for the prosperity of my beloved motherland. It would be blasphemous to imagine my writing to be anywhere close to Tagore’s. So for my wish this Wednesday, I humbly echo his supreme words.

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

-- Rabindranath Tagore

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TGIF #1: Weekends

Well, first things first. I ask you, what is the point in saying TGIF without being thankful for weekends. Right?

Over the years, my weekends have varied a bit. In school, we used to have Saturdays & Sundays off while in college it was Sundays & Mondays. In a former life, while working as an IT professional it went back to Saturdays & Sundays. Later on when I wasn’t working, all days were weekends! Currently I have Fridays and Saturdays off.

The first thing that comes to my mind when someone mentions weekends is... sleep! I get to sleep a few extra hours! I’m a sleepaholic so yay for that! My husband is exactly the opposite. On weekdays he moans and groans and grumbles to get up but on weekends, he is up bright and early and is pottering about long before I drag myself out of bed. (Sometimes I need to be bribed with a hot cuppa coffee too. Mrs.N S don’t cringe - coffee is good for you;-)) This weekend, we are going to drop in at the library (Yes I am also such a nerd) and then go watch Harry Potter! So yay for that too :-)

But more than anything else I am grateful for weekends because my husband and I get more time to spend with each other. The whole week goes by with him slaving away at office and me cooped up by myself within the four walls of our apartment (as I work from home). Whether we go anywhere or do something useful is immaterial. It just feels nice to simply be with each other.

Apart from that, I also think that in this busy-busy world, all of us need to pause and spare a moment to “smell the roses”; and this is where weekends come in - After all even God rested on the 7th day so hey, who am I to argue?! On that note, I will leave you with a lovely poem I learnt in school (Don’t I have a good memory!?) called Leisure (In fact, I even remember that this was when I came to know that it was pronounced Lee-sure and not Ley-sure)

Leisure

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

- William Henry Davies

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Trying Hard...

I tried so hard, not to become a cynic
And yet sometimes, I think I am forced to.

I tried so hard, to believe in the goodness of Man
And yet sometimes, people let me down.

I tried so hard, to keep my faith in Love
And yet sometimes, cowardice and deception were my rewards.

I tried so hard, to trust in Truth
And yet sometimes, Truth is merely Falsehood disguised.

I tried so hard, to give without fear
And yet sometimes, disappointment was what I got.

I tried so hard, to hold on
And yet sometimes, I just want to let go.

I tried so hard, to live without losing ‘Me’
And yet sometimes, I search for her and no traces I find.

I tried so hard, to fight back the tears,
And yet sometimes, they choke me tight.

I tried so hard, to keep smiling my pretty smile
And yet sometimes, it feels empty and shallow.

I tried so hard, to dream new dreams
And yet sometimes, they changed into nightmares.

I tried so hard, to be one with you
And yet sometimes, you hurt me so.

I tried so hard, to often stop the bleeding
And yet this time, it seems to be fatal.

A Limerick Ode to my newest Hobby :-)

Clickety-Clack, Clickety-Clack, my needles click,
Back and forth, back and forth, quick, quick!

Knit and Purl, Knit and Purl,
O ball of yarn, come on, Unfurl!

Greens, reds, blacks or blues,
Colour, colour, which colour do you choose?

Sweaters, scarves or gloves, I say,
Magically create what you may!

Soon, you'll have a cheerful gift,
To give your day a bright little lift!

One of my fav poems....

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

- Robert Frost

Trapped!

The cords are bound tight,
There is no escape.
No more can I fight,
In despair, I am draped.

Tendrils of Love, they seemed to be,
Disguised to deceive.
Stupid, naive and foolish me,
The truth, now I perceive.

Can anyone hear me?! I scream,
No one heeds my cry.
Wishing this was just a bad dream,
I prepare to die.

Dark Whispers

I drift,

All alone, dreary and desolate,

Amidst empty words and broken promises,

Forgotten deeds and shattered dreams.

Soothing words no longer whisper in my ears,

Hear the vultures call instead.

Gentle touches no longer caress me,

Instead, cruel hands drag me down.
Fate has surrendered me to Despair.

Thorns that bleed my heart and drink my soul,

I have found.

Thoughts that curse my mind and feed on my tears,
I am left with.

Will you smile, to hear me cry?

Will you laugh, to see me die?

Victim of situations,

Sacrifice, at the Altar of Society, I know not.

Oh Sweet Agony!
Leave me alone,
Give me peace…..
Let me sleep, forever.