Mind Your Manners Please!

I would say that good manners and etiquette often varies from place to place and culture to culture. For example, while I was working in the US, the Americans whom I worked with always used to pop this question “How are you?” almost every time they saw me-even if we happened to cross paths 4 or 5 times a day. It took me a while to realize that it is a rhetoric question and more like saying “Hi!” than anything else. No one really expects you to tell how them how exactly you are feeling. To be honest, I found it a little phony. I mean why can’t we just stick to a simple “Hello”? I’m sure people in India would give one a weird look if one kept posing this question every single time you met.

In India if anyone walks into someone’s home with their footwear on, its sure to create a hullabaloo - on the other hand, in most foreign countries I’m sure people would raise eyebrows if you padded barefoot into their homes.

Also we Indians are much more inquisitive about everybody’s lives. We want to know everything about him, her, their aunt and their distant cousins all included. Often I’ve been subjected to relentless grilling about my life on many a flight by many an aunty or granny! But then shouldn’t there be a line somewhere? There are some manners which are universal-such as saying “Thanks” and “Please”. Similarly there are some questions which you just can’t, or rather shouldn't ask. Of late, I’ve realized that many people are either simply unaware that it is not good manners to ask certain questions or are just not bothered about the inappropriateness of their questioning. So unless you are in a position where we BOTH think of each other as really (and I mean REALLY) good friends or a close family member, kindly refrain from asking these questions - and even if you do fall into the above category, please exercise some restraint!

1.“So when are you getting married?”: Thankfully I’m past this question. But until a couple of years back, it really used to irritate me. I pity the people who are still subjected to this one. Maybe everyone needs to follow the idea of this popular joke?

When I was young I didn't like going to weddings. My grandmother would tell me, "You're next" However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

2.“So any good news?”: Now that I have successfully overcome the above obstacle, it’s time for the next question! Good news…. Hmm well lets c… I’m alive, I have a comfortable home and generous husband and loving family and a job I love doing. Isn’t that enough good news?! Any other “good news” is completely the personal business of mine and my husband-I don’t see why we need to keep you informed! So please just stop asking-before things start getting really ugly!!! You have been warned. (Yes YOU!)

3.“So how much do you earn?”: Yikes! I still remember once when I was a small kid, I was at my mother’s office simply running around and doing what kids generally do. One of my mom’s young colleague used to be friendly with me. One day for some reason, I asked him “So how much is your salary?” He gave me a look and asked me “Didn’t anyone teach you that it is bad manners to ask such a thing?” I was so ashamed. In case no one ever taught YOU that it is bad manners to ask people how much they earn, I am putting it down here. Now you know. So unless you are from the Income Tax dept or a potential employer willing to pay me atleast three times of what I earn now - please do not ask me this question ever again!!

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A Restaurant With A Difference

We just got back from a lovely trip to India and I am still getting over the vacation hangover! We had a pretty good time with family and friends, inspite of the sweltering heat and power cuts! But still it is “namma Chennai” and it was indeed a lil bugging to come back. Nevertheless what needs to be done, needs to be done and so it was done ;-)

Coming to the topic of this post, one fine evening my husband and I were planning to head out for dinner and I wanted to try out some new place which we hadn’t checked out earlier. Since I am the one in the travel planning business, the onus of picking a good restaurant was on me. After some enquiries, we decided to go to a restaurant called ‘Kipling’s Café’.
And boy! Are we glad we did!

Kipling’s Café is located off ECR. If you are heading from Chennai then it should be on a small lane on your left, just after Hot Kitchen, Malgudi, Delhi Dhaba – before the Toll Gate. It is a large bungalow, renovated charmingly into a pleasant and welcoming restaurant. There is a terrace but we chose to be seated at one of the dreamy, Goan style cabanas/huts in the garden. Surrounded by lush greenery, listening to frog’s croaking in the distance and with a cool sea breeze gently ruffling my hair-the ambiance was just perfect! The food is a mix of Mediterranean and Asian and was scrumptious. The service was pretty polite and friendly too.

I’m not sure how many of you are aware of this place as it is tucked away in an unassuming corner literally in the outskirts of the city. But it is a wonderful place to have a cozy, romantic dinner or a fun lunch with family or a small group of close friends. I wouldn’t recommend it for larger groups – for one thing the place leans more towards 'Elegance' rather than 'Boisterous' and for the other, food is slightly on the expensive side. Also be aware that if you only like spicy Indianised versions of international cuisine, you might not particularly enjoy the food here-because the chefs at Kipling’s Café try to maintain the authenticity of the food, with regards to both taste and ingredients.

A word of caution: The restaurant is located in a posh area and is surrounded by huge bungalows with high walls. Apart from that, it is pretty deserted and lonely. We went there a little after dark and it was kind of isolated. So I would advise you to go a little early

But on the whole, we had a memorable time and will definitely go back. If you are looking for a peaceful experience away from the hustle and bustle of the vibrant city, then do check out Kipling's cafe!

Some reviews from Tripadvisor if you are interested.

Image Courtesy: Dreamstime

A Bird's Eye View

“Hutt! Hutt!” says the man and my chestnut stead starts slowly up the lush mountain slope. Sitting astride, tightly clutching the reins was I-a petite, city girl who has so far never traveled on anything that walks (not considering piggy-back rides).

Twigs snap beneath crushing hooves, a cold breeze teases by hair, burrs cling hungrily to my sweater and branches stretch out their verdant arms slyly towards me; their fresh, leafy fingers brush me lightly, reminding me of a lover’s gentle, seductive first caress.

The horse and his keeper, both with their heads seemingly bent in deep thought, solemnly plod through the wilderness on dry, narrow paths hewn into the ground by mountain streams that gush down in the summer months. The conifers appear to have conspired and entwined together in a determined effort to filter out much of the sunlight. Although a few slanting shafts of golden light do manage to evade them and play hide and seek with me.

Sounds of human life gradually fade away. My ears are filled with the buzzing of alien insects and an occasional flutter of wings accompanied by shrill bird calls. A gentle hop across a small rivulet here, a mighty step over a huge boulder there - higher and higher we climb. Until finally we halt. We have reached our destination.

I take a few cautious steps and come clear of the green canopy. A few more and I wouldn’t be here, writing. But then, that is precisely my intention. Indeed the sole purpose of this long horseback journey.

My escort sets up the paragliding equipment and proceeds to enlighten me on the basics. For someone who eyes roller coaster rides with apprehension, I listen attentively with a hammering heart and with symptoms of acrophobia. Suddenly, he signals that I am ready. Am I? I ask myself. I remember the numerous failed high jump efforts of mine. I always run up to the pole and then…stop! I could never make myself jump. So will I do it now? Was I really ready to leave behind the safety and security of solid ground?

With a prayer, a shiver and a rush of adrenalin, I run to the cliff’s edge, grit my teeth, will my eyes to stay open and jump! For a split second I flounder. My lemon yellow parafoil forms an arch above me and then gracefully, graciously I rise, defying gravity. Like an eagle drifting lazily, I float. Snow capped peaks wink in the sunlight, miniature villages look up at me with envy and a meandering river gives me a silver grin.

Quoting Wordsworth,
“I wandered lonely as a cloud,
That floats on high o’er vales and hills”

Only, it is not loneliness that I feel. It is solitude. About 2000 m above sea level, in Solang Valley,Kulu Manali-India, I have conquered my fears. I look down and smile upon Earth like a benevolent God.
I gently hum the Carpenter's "I'm on top of the world, looking down on Creation".I am at peace.
A gauzy swirl of clouds envelops me. I surrender to the embrace.

Image Courtesy: www.dreamstime.com

Giving credit where credit is long overdue!

I love getting comments from readers on my blog. Of course I prefer positive remarks (Who doesn’t?) but constructive criticism is also appreciated. Now, I know that there are several visitors to my blog, who enjoy reading it but don’t actually leave any comments here for whatever reasons (laziness? Shy? Dunno how to?). However when they happen to meet me or see me online, they let me know how much they like my writing, which really makes my day :-)

Of course I have a stats monitor which shows me details such as how many visitors I get and from which part of the world etc. But when people actually think of letting me know that they like reading my blog it is indeed very encouraging. That is predominantly the reason behind this post.

I can generally spend hours together doing something which many think of as “uncool”. (Actually make that, do a lot of things which most people would term uncool! ) And that is…watching cookery shows!

Starting all those years back with some tacky and dull cookery shows on Doordarshan to the spunkier Samaiyal, Samaiyal on Star Vijay, I used to watch any cookery show that I came across. I was soooo into this that at one point I even considered taking up catering technology! Anyway thanks to my brother's words of wisdom, better sense prevailed and I did not do that – coz knowing me, I probably wouldn’t have had the energy and stamina to stand and slog away in a hot kitchen for a long time!

The fact that I actually enjoy watching cookery shows continuously baffles my husband who often wonders “Aren’t you bored?!” Well, no! I really take pleasure in watching the chefs create something delicious. Each chef has a different stlye and their signature touch. Sometimes the dishes are new to me, sometimes I already know how to cook them, sometimes I copy their recipes, sometimes I don’t. I would't even call myself a food lover because really I don't eat much at all. But irrespective of whether I am going to make the dish shown or not, I watch the shows anyway!

I think that there is so much to know about a country’s culture, history and tradition by looking at their food and their way of making it. You can see how one dish from one part of the world has been derived from or influenced some other dish from another part of the world-and the culinary borders blend and merge into one another. Some foodie facts are intriguing; some are fascinating while still some others simply succeed in just churning your stomach! You pick up all kinds of trivia! Did you know, for example, that Jamaican and Moroccan cuisines use a lot of spices common to the Indian palate? While we have dosas the French have crepes. Or that Molligatawny soup is supposedly the British pronunciation of “Molagu thanni” in Tamil or in plain English pepper-water? Or that there is an Italian pasta dish called Puttanesca which literally means “in the style of a prostitute” – because according to one theory, it is quick, easy and spicy! Hmmm ;-)

In recent times I have moved from watching cooking shows on TV to the Internet. After lurking anonymously at various websites I finally subscribed to not 1, not 2 but 4 cooking channels so far!(Well it’s free anyway!). I never leave any comments on their videos, which obviously they have taken a lot of time and effort to make, post and administer. So I thought that I would show all of them my appreciation here on my blog. And in case any of you are interested, you could also look them up!

One of the very first cookery videos I saw online was from those 2 smart and savvy ladies at Show Me The Curry. These 2 Indian ladies are settled in the US and cook mostly Indian dishes. Even if they make dishes from other cuisines they customize it to suit the Indian palate-which helps a lot!

Betty’s Kitchen, is another show I follow. The cooking and explanations are done by Betty a retired professor while the filming is done by her husband Rick. She is from Kentucky and speaks with a distinct southern drawl. Initially I used to wonder as to why she was speaking so slowly until I realized that it was her accent! A really sweet and charming lady who barely looks 50 but is actually 60 plus! Her food is mostly American.

The next one is Titli Nihaan. A British lady who is well traveled and is open to trying out different dishes from different cuisines from all over the world. She hosts Titli’s Busy Kitchen and I really enjoy her spontaneity and sense of humor! This is one crazy old lady who definitely cracks me up!

Here comes the famous Nigella Lawson! She is yummy and whatever she cooks is yummy too!In fact she has earned the nickname of being the queen of food-porn ;-) I love her no-nonsense, down-to-earth, hands-on approach to cooking. Above all I absolutely adore her British accent (no matter what Russell Peters comments about the English accent!)

Last but not the least, comes Laura Vitale an Italian cook. Sigh! Sometimes I wish I was born in Italy! Their flawless olive toned skin, silky long hair, sparkling clear eyes! Oof! And they get to eat all the cheese in the world! Lol! Anyways Laura is a very energetic, beautiful and friendly cook and I love hearing her pronounce the names of the Italian dishes, well in Italian as they should be!

I notice that I have only listed female cooks. Although I do watch men cooking, I guess I somehow prefer it if women cook! (Pre-conditioning?!) Of the men I would pick Sanjay Thumma from Vahchef for his absolute passion towards food and cooking as well as Chef Damodaran, who kinda looks like a dark Santa-minus-the-beard! Both seem to be jolly old fellows who would love to dig into a huge plate of food at any given time! I do not like the other famous chef Sanjeev Kapoor mainly because his shows are in Hindi, which I don’t follow. Also I haven’t gotten down to watching a whole lot of other celebrity chefs like Jamie Oliver, Nigel Slater, Julia Child (Although I did watch Julie & Julia, which I found to be charming!) Maybe I will someday ;-)

And then of course, there is the whole world of extensive food blogging, drool-worthy food blogs, wonderful food photographers and talented food bloggers! Well, that is something for another day!

Image Courtesy: www.dreamstime.com

Spooky Pastimes

I am terribly scared of ghosts. No idea whether they exist or not-nor do I want to find out! I have never seen one (Touchwood!) but I have done my fair share of experimentations with Ouija boards and stuff like that. I refuse to watch horror movies simply because if I do watch one, then for atleast a month I keep looking over my shoulder, imagining unknown monsters lurking in dark corners or unseen eyes that follow my every move. Call me naïve or gullible but the fact is that I hover somewhere on the middle ground when it comes to believing in ghosts and spirits. So it is indeed a little surprising that I actually like hanging around in graveyards.

I have never been to a cremation ground but I imagine that it won’t be a pretty site to witness. But on the other hand, I somehow feel that a graveyard is very peaceful. Back home in Chennai, the Kilpauk cemetery is home to some near and dear ones. So it gets a little too personal for me and I don’t really fancy going there unless I have to pay my tributes or to get buried myself. But there is another really old cemetery behind St.Geroge’s Cathedral on Cathedral Road. It was just behind my school and I have spent many a afternoon wandering among tombstones, much to my mother's chagrin!

Once inside the cemetery it is easy to forget that you are in the middle of one of the busiest roads in Chennai. All the hustle and bustle of Mount Road fades away and you are engulfed in a blanket of peace and serenity. It is an island of tranquility, with a green canopy and sun-dappled cool spots. The graveyard has lots of greenery-probably because all the plants and trees get ample nourishment?-and it is really calm and quiet in there. All you can hear is the rustle of leaves and the chirping of birds.

Some of the tombs date back to the pre-independence era while some are relatively new. Some are well maintained with flowers and melted candles surrounding them, while others have been long forgotten and are crumbling to ruins. Some have been built with expensive marble and gleaming granite while others are more humble with just a slab of plain cement. I wander around these tombs, pausing here and there to read the epitaphs. Some epitaphs are poetic or elaborate while some are terse and formal. I look at the birth and death dates, figure how many years the person has lived and wonder at their lives. Who was this person who has become one with the Earth now? I try to imagine what his/her life was like. Did they get to achieve all their dreams and hopes before they died – or were there any unfulfilled wishes? There lies a lifetime ensconced in a 6 feet wooden box deep down under the grass. A lifetime filled with what? Smiles and laughter, joy and contentment? Or tears, disappointments and failures? I only hope that it was the former.

Please Note: A graveyard, as I said can be pretty desolate. So if anybody is tempted to explore, especially if you are alone, do make sure that you stick to the more open and brighter areas. Be aware of your surroundings and resist the urge to drift away into some obscure corners. No, not because an evil spirit is going to possess you. Sometimes in life one needs to be more careful of the living than the dead. If you notice someone observing you or loitering around you then better make a quick exit!

On a completey different note, someone told me that there is a belief in India that our dead ancestors come back as ravens, which is why they are served food during special days. So when I was in the cemetery I noticed loads of ravens all around. Think there is any connection?

Image Courtesy: www.dreamstime.com

Dream Come True!

Yeah! So I finally finished my Diploma in Freelance Journalism. It is official. I am a certified and published Journo now! Pop the cork! Yippeeee!

Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock

So if you are a crazy Friends fan like me, then you will probably know that I am referring to the episode when Phoebe realizes that she can change her name. Most of my friends have a different surname now. Actually some even have a different first name-but that is a different story for a different day. For almost 2 years now I have been confused. Agreed that I am highly prone to confusions, but here is yet another dilemma that I still haven’t solved.

It is a common practice to either substitute or append the husband’s family name to one’s own post marriage. At the place where I come from, usually there is no concept of “family name.” Women just substitute their husband’s name instead of their own dad’s name. So if AB marries XY, A being the woman’s name, B the woman’s father’s name, X the man’s name and Y the man’s father’s name, she simply changes it to AX, or sometimes AB-X.

Now lets talk about my situation. Firstly the name that my parents chose to bestow on me is by no means short. Although it isn’t the longest in the world, it is long enough to make me run out of the tiny boxes available on application forms, thereby leading me to cramp up all the remaining letters. Anyone who has ever asked me my full name, always asks for a repeat with either raised or scrunched up eyebrows.

Anne Mary Prinita J. So I have a first name, 2 middle names and an initial, which expands to John, my dad’s name. Anne is what I am usually called outside of home, with Prinita being favoured at home. And yes I know that Anne is phonetically Ann and not Annie-but well if people can call me Anni (meaning sis-in-law in Tamil), Anna (meaning brother in Tamil), Aani (meaning nail in Tamil) I figure that I can pronounce myself Annie. And by the way, does anyone realize what a big pain having a name starting with A is??! You get called first for every damn thing starting from interviews to exams. You have hardly any time to prepare and absolutely no idea of what lies ahead. Unlike people whose names start conveniently with anything other than A. They can always get information about what to expect from you. Poor scapegoat!

Anyway back to the topic. Recently someone messaged me on Facebook saying, “Hey how are you? And how is John? You both make a great couple!”
Well thank you very much my friend. Myself and John are fine indeed but FYI (Yes now that is an actual word. They added it to the Oxford Dictionary. OMG!) John is my dad!

Anne Mary Prinita John-Ajay? Anne Mary Prinita Ajay? Anne Ajay? Prinita Ajay? Anne Prinita Ajay? Anne Prinita John-Ajay?? Permutations and combinations galore! I still haven’t chosen a favourite. Further changing my name now, also means changing my signature, changing my names on my bank accounts, cheque books, credit/debit cards, passport, other such certificates and what not! Just too much work, I say! Oh well! To cover up my indecision and laziness, I could always taking a feministic stand and argue that when the male has no need to change his name after marriage, why should a female alone change hers ;-)

Image Courtesy:www.dreamstime.com